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| Chill, it's gonna be okay. |
Hi.
As always, I never write down enough of my thoughts. When I do, though, I feel like they come out quite nicely. If you decide to read this I hope you find something to relate to or learn from. Most of all, I hope you see God's hand in it all.
Moving to Minnesota is easily the most interesting and difficult thing I've ever done in my life. I thought traveling was strange, I thought grad school was kinda hard, I even thought Pepperdine would be the greatest experience of my life. All of those things are true, but this experience - moving to Minnesota - has been all of the things I listed and more.
It's been hard. Moving away from family, friends, and literally every person I've ever known is hard. It's so strange to walk into a church or grocery store and know that literally no one is going to recognize you. There's a zero percent chance that anyone will say, "Hey is that Gus? Whoa long time no see man!" I know that's a strange thing to think about, but I didn't realize I liked randomly bumping into people until there was no one to bump into.
I've definitely missed a sense of home. Leading up to my birthday weekend I was really bummed out because I knew that my friends would have probably planned to go eat Korean BBQ and driven to the beach or something. I was bummed because it was a time I really wanted to be taken care of and loved, but it just didn't feel like that would happen.
Minnesota is also quite different. For one, everything is SO green. Like there are trees everywhere it's amazing. And now they're starting to change color, which is something I've seldom seen, so it looks even more awesome. Another thing I've noticed is just how fast life is in LA. We're always moving back n forth - trying to find the best parking spot, trying to beat traffic, trying to eat quickly so we can go to the next thing - and here things just feel a tad bit slower, which I love. Also, the weather here is so weird. In a 4 week span it went from humid beyond belief to raining to humid again. Now it's cooled down significantly, which I suppose is the deep breathe before the frozen tundra of winter arrives.
Though it has been hard, this move has come with tremendous (TREMENDOUS) blessings. I've met, and now have the honor of working with, some of the most incredible people I will probably ever meet (my RA's). We have laughed so hard, we've cried together, we've created some wonderful memories in just a short two months. Which is also crazy. I can't believe I met these people just about two months ago. Now, I can't imagine my life without them. It's pretty incredible how, I believe, God brings people together in particular places at particular times. We've gone from absolute strangers to absolutely family and it's actually really amazing.
The coolest story I've had so far probably came about a time that I was most down. I was approaching my birthday and I was really missing home. My RA's surprised me with a billion balloons and cake at midnight, which I really was not expecting. The next day they kidnapped me (yes, actually kidnapped me with a blindfold and everything) and took me to breakfast at a place I think I mentioned once to them. The truth was that they took care of me on a day that I was sincerely missing feeling cared for and loved by people who knew me. Because of them, however, I was reminded that all would be well. That God still loved me even though I've questioned many times whether this move was worth it. That maybe there is a purpose for me here even though it still looks and feels foggy. I was reminded that I am loved and that's all anyone really needs to know.
All that to say, it's been okay. I still miss home. I still miss familiarity. I still miss the CA sunsets and the beach. Lakes are growing on me, though. The beach and lakes are both peaceful in such opposite, but similar, ways. It's weird.
I know God has me here in this particular season with these particular people for some particular purpose that I'm going to eventually figure out.
And that's kind of the way life works, isn't it? We're all just trying to figure it out. We're trying to figure out why things are the way they are and what our role is in it. There's always bumps and transitions and unexpected surprises, but for the most part, we're okay. And on the days when we're not okay, we [ought to] look to others to pick us back up because we're not meant to maneuver through life on our own.
I hope (and I know) that in 5 years I'll look back and say, "I am so glad I did this." It's the most interesting and difficult thing I've ever done, but it's also one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. I haven't loved every minute of it, but I do love it and that's good enough.